Stan: I won 92 goldfish.
Fred: Where are you going to keep them?
Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?
Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛）them!
斯丹：我贏了 92 條金魚。
弗雷德：妳想在哪兒養它們？
斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是妳想洗澡時怎麽辦？
斯丹：蒙住它們的眼睛！
2、 The Revenge 欺騙的代價
Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With alow voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmerJones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson:"But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jonesonce cheated me in a horse deal!"
老農約翰遜就要死了。他的家人都站在床邊。他聲音低沈地對妻子說：“我死後，我想妳嫁給農夫瓊斯。” 妻子說：“不，在妳死後，我不能嫁給任何人。” 約翰遜：“但我希望妳這麽做。” 妻子：“為什麽？” 約翰遜：“因為瓊斯曾在壹筆販馬的交易中欺騙了我。”
3、I think that I'm a chicken 我想我是壹只雞
Psychiatrist: What's your problem?
Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
精神病醫師：妳哪裏不舒服？
病人：我認為我是壹只雞。
精神病醫師：這種情況從什麽時候開始的？
病人：從我還是壹只蛋的時候開始。
4、How do I get the gum out我怎麽把口香糖取出來
Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keeptheir ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed upto her and said, "I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum outfrom my ears?"
當空中小姐給乘客們發口香糖的時候，她解釋說口香糖有助於他們防止耳鳴。飛機著陸後，壹位乘客跑到這位空中小姐面前，說道：“ 我馬上就要見到我妻子了。我怎麽才能把口香糖從耳朵裏面取出來呢？”
5、 Where Am I 我在哪兒
An Englishman lost his way while he was driving in the countryside. He saw afarmer working in the field nearby, so he went nearer in his car and asked the farmer,"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" "Yes, " the farmerlooked at him strangely and said, "you are in your car, sir."
壹個英國人在鄉下開車時迷了路，他看見壹個農民正在附近的地裏幹活。於是他就把車開過去問那位農民：“勞駕，您能告訴我我現在這是在哪兒嗎？” “可以。”農夫奇怪地看了看他，然後說道：“妳現在在妳的車子裏，先生。”
6、Chiefis at the wedding 長官在婚禮上
A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street.
"But officer," the man said, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer."I'm going to put you injail until the chief gets back."
"But ,officer, I …."
"I said to keep quiet! You are going to jail!"
A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Youare lucky because the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a goodmood when he gets back."
"Are you sure?" answered the man in the cell. "I'm thegroom."
大街上的壹個超速駕駛者被警察攔住了。“但是警官”這個人說道，“我可以解釋的”。“保持安靜”，警察突然說道。“我將把妳送往監獄，直到長官回來。“但是，警察，我，，，”。“我說過了保持安靜，妳要到監獄了。”幾小時後，警察向監獄裏看了看說道“算妳運氣好，因為我們的長官正在他女兒的婚禮上。他將帶著壹個愉快的心情回來的。” “妳確定”在牢房裏的這個人說道。“我就是新郎呀”。
7、Who Is the Laziest 誰最懶
Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you aquestion. Who is the laziest person in your class?
Tom: I don't know, father.
Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing andwriting, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?
Tom: Our teacher, father.
父親：哎，湯姆，今天我跟妳們老師談過，現在我想問妳個問題。妳們班上誰最懶？湯姆：我不知道，爸爸。父親：啊，不對，妳知道！想想看，當別的孩子們都在做作業、寫字時，誰在課堂上坐著，只是看人家做功課？湯姆：我們老師，爸爸。
8、TwoBirds 兩只鳥
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now whocan tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside theswallow.
老師： 這兒有兩只鳥，壹只是麻雀。誰能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀嗎？學生：我指不出，但我知道答案。老師：請說說看。學生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。